Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Another Very Important Post About Some 2016 Singles

The time has come once again for me to break out of my "very composed amateur critic" persona and fangirl hard over some current hot tracks. Enjoy my ramblings.

"Send My Love (To Your New Lover)" by Adele: So listen, I hated this song when I first heard it. After the tenth listen, I couldn't get enough. I changed my mind. Sue me. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go twirl and brush my shoulders alongside Adele as I karaoke this shit.

"Mean What I Mean" by AlunaGeorge, Leikeli47 and Dreezy: CERTIFIED BANGER™. That is all.

"Fuck With Myself" by Banks: Y'all don't realize just how badly I needed new Banks material in my life. I audibly screamed when she announced the release of this track. It's dark and ultra-badass. And it's kind of everything. (Plus Ellie Goulding and Dua Lipa both endorsed it, so you know it's good shit.)

"Mind Games" by Banks: This is even more important than "Fuck With Myself."

"Gemini Feed" by Banks: This is most important.

"Good Grief" by Bastille: You know how I just said I really needed new Banks material in my life? I needed Bastille material even more -- and these kings delivered. "Good Grief" is a bit of a new sonic territory for Dan Smith & Co., but it's brilliant. If the rest of Wild World lives up to this, the band will have easily provided album of the year material.

"Closer" by the Chainsmokers feat. Halsey: The lyrics are so Halsey, the production is so Chainsmokers... and the song is so great.

"Backbeat" by Dagny: I was lukewarm upon first listen to this. Now, I'm here screaming, "BACKBEAT, COUNTING TIME. PICK IT UP AND TELL ME IF YOU REALLY WANNA DANCE SOME MORRRRE." I recommend a few listens before forming a definitive opinion.

"Hotter Than Hell" by Dua Lipa: Dua Lipa, third in line for the queen of pop throne, blessed us again with what is arguably her best track yet. One late night in a tired stupor, I made a list of things that makes this song the tropical house banger to end all tropical house bangers. Let's review that list and check it for accuracy, shall we?

  • The swaying synth lines that take you to a whole new dimension. True.
  • The uncontrollable steel drum hits. True.
  • When the last chorus comes in sooner than expected from the bridge and CLOCKS you. True.
  • The last chorus when the phrase "when I'm not there and you're by yourself" is intensified tenfold by the additional production. True.
  • Whatever is happening vocally between "than" and "hell" that does not sound healthy but does sound, in the words of Britney Spears, pretty cool. True.
  • Oh, and all the vocals that queen of deep, musky vocals Dua Lipa delivers here. True.
  • The electronically modified ad-libs in the chorus. True.
  • Steel drums were already mentioned but are still very important. True.
  • It's the perfect banger to BLARE and dance to while driving or in traffic jams. True.
  • The stares you get when you blare this and scream the lyrics in a traffic jam on the interstate. True.

So folks, it's decided. "Hotter Than Hell" is, indeed, the most underappreciated banger of the year. It's essentially 2016's "Run Away With Me." And that's saying something.

"Body Say" by Demi Lovato: Okay, so wow. Just days after I proclaimed her to be the Queen of Making Better Memes than Music, Demi Lovato sure clocked me. To coincide with her joint headlining tour with Nick Jonas, she dropped "Body Say," a surprisingly impressive track that oozes sex appeal. God bless. And let's be even more thankful that she's given up that god-awful scream-singing racket (whoever told her she sounds impressive on "Stone Cold" needs to be fired) for a smoother pout, even if that approach was ripped from Selena Gomez's most recent work. This song does not need to be deleted, fat.

"Go Off" by M.I.A.: So if I'm not mistaken, M.I.A. mentioned something about including a swan song of sorts on her upcoming (and supposedly final) LP. I don't think "Go Off" is that track, but it sure makes a banging send-off.

"Final Song" by MØ: Even in spite of the drags I'm going to endure from fans who have been with MØ since the beginning for this, I'll declare that I liked "Kamikaze." And I like this track even more. That drop hits me like a brick wall every time.

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